Finding Loompaland
by This Is Da Vinci Speaking
Summary: What if everyone was right? What if Loompaland DOESN'T exist? That is exactly what Willy and Charlie are set to find out.
1. Just Trust Me

**Why must I try with the disclaimers? General rule: I own everything you don't recognize. If you don't recognize any of it...then, to you, I own everything.

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_Just trust me_.

Charlie Bucket was beginning to severely rethink this entire plan. The thought was so prominent that the entire previous sentence made absolutely no sense whatsoever. However, that was not the point. The point, in fact, was jabbing painfully into his brain, and that was:

"This is not going to work."

He did not look at his "partner-in-crime," yet he could feel the unnerving, azure-blue stare of the aforementioned person drill a pinpointed hole in his skull. Charlie knew right then he'd made a mistake.

"Do you doubt me?" Willy Wonka asked in a singsong voice, which, at any other moment but this one, would not have scared Charlie quite as much as it did just then. "I assure you, dear boy, this plan is going to work."

The plan, actually, was to go to Loompaland, where Willy, under a very smug umbrella of "I-Told-You-So's," will do just that; declare to the entire world, "I told you so."

Charlie's mother had been very reluctant to agree on letting Willy drag her son with him. Charlie's father, however, thought the idea fantastic, much to everyone's astonishment.

In the midst of Mr. and Mrs. Bucket's slight quarrel after Mr. Bucket's declaration that he'd let Charlie go, Willy had pulled Charlie outside to speak to him privately on the matter.

"I think they will see the importance in this situation soon enough," Willy had said, tugging on the hem of his tailcoat and dusting his right sleeve off. He started to walk at a slow pace towards the Chocolate Fall, waving an airy hand for the younger boy to follow him.

"Mr. Wonka," Charlie had spoken up quietly, matching his pace (not his stride, for Wonka's was much greater) with Willy's. "I really think you should consider the possibility that…perhaps Loompaland _doesn't_ exist."

"Rubbish!" Willy exclaimed, stopping in his tracks and gawking at the boy as if he had just suspected the chocolatier to be criminally insane. "Absolutely…dreadful thought, Charlie. I, myself, have visited the lovely place that is Loompaland, so I must put an end to whatever nonsense you're currently pulling out of your—"

"I'm just saying," Charlie interrupted, knowing fully aware of how that phrase went and knowing he didn't wish to hear it come out of Willy's mouth, "that maybe you went to some other place, _thinking_ it was Loompaland."

There was a rather uncomfortable silence between the two; Charlie could've sworn for a second that Willy had stopped breathing. The thought, however, was dashed when the chocolatier's mouth formed a very large, nearly-fake smile. "We'll just see how wrong you are, dear child!"

And he proceeded to make a sharp left turn…running right into the transparent door of the glass elevator.

* * *

Charlie, who had been zoning out uncharacteristically to the recollection of this event, let out a soft chuckle.

Willy's gaze snapped back to him, yet he was unaware of the fact that he was gripping the arms of the airplane seat painfully hard. "What's so funny?" he demanded.

"Aren't you afraid of airplanes, Mr. Wonka?" Charlie asked, changing the subject with his childlike innocence.

Willy looked from left to right; after all, there _was_ a great chance someone was listening to their every word as they spoke, and the minute the plane landed, this person would _obviously_ go and gab to the press about Willy Wonka's fear of airplanes, _clearly_ intent on pulling some random gesture of revenge on the chocolate tycoon.

"Of course not!" Wonka hissed, yet Charlie could tell he was lying through his pearly-white teeth.

Charlie shook his head, grinning, and leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.


	2. Geoffrey the Pilot

Willy watched cautiously as Charlie closed his eyes, a tiny smile from his previous triumph playing across his lips. The chocolatier stuck his tongue out at him, then turned his attention towards the front of the plane.

Why the _devil_ did he decide on taking the plane? He couldn't stand planes. They were filthy and rusty and generally gross. Not to mention they had a tendency to fall out of the sky. He could have easily taken the glass elevator….

Looking at his small friend again, Willy remembered why they had to take a plane. This caused the once-peeved expression on his face to be merged into a vaguely anxious one.

Willy looked to his left just as a flight attendant was skittering past him, making her occasional rounds about the aircraft. He held out his hand politely to stop her. "Excuse me," he whispered.

The young lady looked at him and smiled brightly. "What can I do for you, Mr. Wonka?" she asked, obviously having recognized him from all the tabloid photos and the such.

Willy looked at Charlie again and swallowed. He looked at the flight attendant. "Could I, by any chance, have a word with the pilot?" He flashed a nervous smile at her.

Despite the strangeness of this request, the young woman bit her lip and glanced toward the cockpit. "Um…alright. Be very careful…."

Willy let out a relieved breath and stood up, ducking to avoid the ceiling of the plane.

"I need to search you first, sir."

Willy stopped in his tracks and attempted to stand up straight, only resulting in a very sore head.

Five minutes later, a very disgruntled Willy huffed his way over to the cockpit. He knocked on the door, running over the entire situation in his head. He expected the encounter to go exactly like this:

_"Mr. Pilot?"_

_"Yes, Mr. Wonka? Oh, before you say anything, the co-pilot and I adore your candy, don't we, George?"_

_"Sure do!"_

_"Thank you gentlemen so very much! Anyway, what I wanted to ask is where, exactly, are we landing?"_

_"Well, just off the—"_

"What are you doing?"

Willy was jolted out of his thoughts, and he found himself staring into the face of a very irritated pilot.

"Er…." Willy knew this was _not_ going to go the way he thought it would. "Where…exactly, are we landing?"

"Couldn't you have asked the flight attendant, Mr. Wonka?" the pilot growled slightly, also recognizing Willy. He waved a hand, gesturing towards the seats of the plane and clearly reading, "Go back to your seat."

Willy had turned to face the seats, but now that he realized he was being _bossed around_ by someone who apparently was beneath him, he turned slowly around to face the other man. He gave him a very wide smile and narrowed his eyes. "I need to have a talk with you, my good sir."

The pilot raised an eyebrow. "I don't think so."

Willy looked at the nametag. "Geoffrey," he said cheerfully, still smiling brightly. "Please step inside, sir."

Willy pushed the pilot back into the cockpit without necessarily _pushing_ him….

The last thing he needed now was an interruption in the flight. He wanted to get to Loompaland…he _needed_ to get to Loompaland…and he needed to tell Geoffrey the Pilot exactly how.

Because Loompaland is _not_ on a map.

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**Oh dude, a cliffhanger! -Insert evil laugh here-**


	3. The Anaconda Scare

**I want to let you know right now:**

**Charlie ends up having a crush on Willy. That's it. NO more than that. No one will pursue this. It just so happens that Charlie has a crush on Willy. Willy does NOT have a crush on Charlie. I promise you (despite my morbid fascination with the Willy/Charlie ship), this will NOT be a Willy/Charlie story.**

**Thank you.

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**

Charlie opened his eyes and stretched. He yawned as he sat up in his chair. He looked to his left, and Willy was sitting there, grinning madly at him. He had his odd goggle-type sunglasses on, and he was, indeed, wearing his top hat.

"Good morning, sun-"

"Where is everyone?"

A little irritated that he was interrupted, Willy raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

Charlie looked around the plane, craning his neck every which way and trying to make absolutely sure he was seeing what he was seeing. Or, in this case, what he _wasn't_ seeing.

"The people," he said quietly, still looking about. "They're gone."

Willy stayed silent for a moment. Then he raised an index finger. "Ah. The passengers. Well, the plane has landed, Charlie, and everyone has gotten off."

What? This didn't seem right at all to Charlie…he couldn't have been asleep for that long at all…and the fact that he and Willy were still on the plane caused even more suspicion.

"Why haven't we gotten off yet?"

"Because we're getting off now!" exclaimed Willy, taking hold of Charlie's hand and nearly dragging him out of his seat.

Charlie was just about to ask if they could go home when they stepped in front of the exit.

"Mr. Wonka," Charlie gasped, staring straight ahead of him, his eyes very wide, "where could everybody _possibly_ have gotten off the plane?"

He was referring to, inexplicably, the fact that the plane was sitting on top of a large cliff overlooking a very widespread rainforest. There were mountains in the near distance, and because they were so high up, the trees seemed to coat the ground like moss to an inanimate rock.

There was actually no way the passengers of the plane could've gotten off here.

Willy let go of Charlie's hand and instead held onto the boy's shoulders, smiling widely at the sight.

"This," he said, pausing for dramatic effect, "is Loompaland."

There was an awkward silence. "Where are all the Oompa-Loompas, then?" asked Charlie as he looked up at the chocolatier.

Willy swallowed, his smile faltering only slightly. "They uh...they're not here right now...they live down there," he murmured, pointing to the mess of trees. "We should get going, then..."

Willy made to step off the plane, but Charlie refused to budge. He frowned at the older man, trying to make sense of it all.

Willy froze, feeling Charlie's gaze on the back of his head. He turned around. "Yes?"

"Mr. Wonka, how are you going to get out of the plane?"

Willy hesitantly looked out of the open door, then down, and he gasped, jumping so sharply that he nearly lost his hat. He took hold of it and held it so tight to his head that he nearly crushed it. His grip on the cane tightened as well.

"Given that there are no stairs," Charlie declared, walking to the other man's side, "and we're on the edge of a cliff, there is no plausible way the passengers could have gotten off here."

"Charlie, grab a parachute," Willy interrupted, turning back to the inside of the plane. As he passed him, Charlie noticed he was frowning slightly, and his cheeks had turned a faint pink.

That was when Charlie screamed.

* * *

When Willy heard the scream, the first thing that exploded in his mind was _he fell out of the plane_. His stomach jumped, and he whirled around quicker than the blink of an eye. If Charlie had fallen out of the plane, he wouldn't know what to do…. 

But Charlie hadn't fallen out of the plane. As a matter of fact, he had fallen backwards _into_ the plane, his back pressed against Willy's legs. He looked absolutely horrified.

Willy looked up and tilted his head to the right a little, narrowing his eyes.

_Oh_, he thought, staring right at the thing Charlie was screaming about. _I don't think I've ever seen a snake that big_. He raised an eyebrow. _That's a pretty big snake, too_. _It rather looks like an_—

"Charlie," Willy whispered through his teeth, suddenly tensing up. "Charlie, don't make any sudden moves…."

"What is it?"

Willy swallowed and very, very slowly—keeping his eyes on the enormous reptile that was gliding smoothly down the length of the plane—he kneeled down and rested his hands on Charlie's shoulders. "That," he murmured right into Charlie's ear, "is an anaconda." When he felt Charlie stiffen, he spoke quicker, keeping his voice down to a whisper. "This one's blind. I saw that it had no eyes. You must remain silent at all times, Charlie, and don't make any quick movements, because it can feel the air…."

Charlie stared with wide eyes as the gargantuan beast coiled around a couple of seats, bumping into things every one in a while, blindly making its way to the back of the plane.

Willy slowly took his hat off, eyes not leaving the shiny, scaly creature, and then he slowly took off the goggles. However, the goggles decided to be very cliché, and when Willy took them off, he ended up accidentally flinging them across the aisle. They made impact with the wall, and the blood drained from Willy's face.

The snake emitted a rather frightening _hiss_ and snapped its head around towards the source of the sound. Its head rose up, fangs bared, and it slithered towards Willy and Charlie at an alarming speed.

Willy flung himself into the wall behind him to avoid the path of the anaconda, yet—as he realized with a jolt to the stomach—that Charlie was sitting _right_ in the path….

The anaconda was going too fast to just grab Charlie and duck, so Willy frowned and jumped up, grabbing his cane.

Charlie's life flashed before his eyes as the snake advanced towards him at breakneck speed. He was about to close his eyes and let the snake do its evil deed, but something else happened.

Willy had jumped right in between the anaconda and Charlie, flung his cane backwards, and then brought it forward, striking the side of the snake's head with one powerful blow that knocked the fangs literally right out of its head. The impact the snake's head made with the side of the plane was enough to create a fairly good-sized dent.

The snake twitched on the airplane seats, then went limp.

Charlie—who was trembling violently at this point—gazed up at the back of Willy's head.

"Charlie," Willy muttered, flexing his fingers on the cane and trying to catch his breath. "If you go near another anaconda…." He lifted the cane and looked at him. "I might whack you with this."

Charlie didn't hear this, because he was staring at man before him. The way his sapphire-blue eyes turned dark when they were angry…the fact that he was angry for _his_ sake…his eyes went dark for _him_….

Suddenly, the young boy froze, gazing up at Willy in horror. His mind was playing tricks on him for sure…his eyes were definitely deceiving him….

Were those _tears_ in Willy's eyes?


	4. Lost in Articulation

**Wow...I didn't know writing this would turn out to be so much fun. :O

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_Oh no_.

"Mr. Wonka," Charlie said quietly, almost unable to talk; he was still recovering from a traumatic experience that happened not but two minutes ago. "Are you alright?"

Willy turned his back to Charlie and wiped his eyes, playing it off like he was wiping his nose. "The question is, dear boy," he replied, kneeling down to retrieve his hat and leaning over the seats to get his sunglasses back-knowing his voice almost betrayed him just then, "are _you_ alright?"

Charlie nodded, not even caring that the head nod couldn't be seen at the moment. Something caused Charlie's stomach to lurch when Willy called him _dear boy_ just then….

Willy put his sunglasses on and looked at Charlie over the top of the seat he was kneeling on. "Charlie, are you alright?"

Charlie stood up, his knees nearly giving in. "Let's get a pair of parachutes. We're not getting down any other way…"

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The minute Charlie's feet hit the ground (quite remarkable given they'd just fallen through a large canopy of trees), Willy snapped the parachute off himself, falling the few feet he had left (he'd jumped after Charlie). "Okay," he declared. "Let's make base right here." 

Charlie tripped as he tried to get the parachute off himself. "Mr. Wonka…."

"I'm aware it's a bit abrupt, but we need to make camp…and we're right here. Therefore, we make base…right here."

Charlie's hands were shaking so badly that he couldn't get the parachute unhooked. "Mr. Wonka…."

Yet again, Willy had started the deed before Charlie even asked the question. It took a moment for Charlie to realize that Willy was unhooking the parachute for him, and he was unnervingly close. Charlie was almost thrown into oblivion; he was hit with the smells of dark chocolate and marshmallows…and graham ers. _Blimey_, Charlie thought, _he smells like a s'more_….

He realized his thoughts and recoiled.

Willy stopped and looked slowly up at him, raising an eyebrow over his sunglasses in question.

"You pinched my arm a little…."

"So sorry," Willy said cheerfully, all traces of ever having been crying completely diminished. He continued to unhook Charlie's stubborn parachute. "I was wondering why you had a paroxysmal moment."

"A paro—"

"Spastic," Willy answered, starting to get vaguely frustrated at the blasted parachute clasp. "You know, erratic. Convulsive…your average, ordinary, everyday Spaz Attack."

Charlie laughed.

Willy finally got the parachute unhooked, and he patted Charlie on the shoulders. "There you go. Now…I'm off to burn this evil, evil thing…."

The furthest distance Willy compromised to go for that night was down to a rather large clearing against one of the mountains about a mile away from the plane. He only compromised, however, when he saw Charlie was about to collapse from exhaustion.

Charlie, apparently, had fallen asleep the minute Willy had drawn out the sleeping bags he had in a large, purple bag that had been on his back. He was so tired, he didn't even care how or where Willy had gotten the bag.

But apparently sleep didn't want to stay with the poor boy. He woke up rather abruptly to see that the sky-which, when he fell asleep, was starting to turn a deep orange-had finally turned dark, and countless stars were peppered across its entirety.

He sat up and looked behind him.

Willy was sitting in a portable recliner near a large tent, his right ankle on his left knee, and he had, sitting on his lap, what looked like a red-velvet-covered hardback notebook. His brow was furrowed in concentration, and he was gnawing on the ring finger of his left hand. He was writing vigorously, and he was using the light of a royal purple lantern sitting on the ground beside him. The orangey light illuminated the absorption in Willy's eyes, which told Charlie that he was either writing in his diary or writing down ideas for his candy.

Willy stopped writing, and he slowly cast his eyes up, catching Charlie's fascinated gaze. "Why are you awake?" he asked softly, his concentrated frown changing subtly into a concerned one.

Charlie shrugged, drawing his knees up to his chest and hugging them. "I had a nightmare…that ruddy snake won't leave me alone."

Willy closed his notebook down and went over to Charlie, sitting next to him and looking up at the sky. "Wow," he said. "There's a lot of them, isn't there?"

Charlie looked up at the sky and nodded, laying down and staring at the stars. When Willy did the same, Charlie felt himself blushing. "Mr. Wonka?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever had a crush on someone?"

Willy was silent for a moment. "Yes," he murmured.

Charlie's heart stopped. "Really?"

"Yep. When I was younger--about your age, I reckon--there was this girl that lived a few houses down from me and my father. Her name was Lilly. Boy, she was pretty."

Charlie sighed and looked back up at the stars. Then, suddenly getting over his slight disappointment, he grinned. "What was your most embarrassing moment?"

"Besides running into the glass elevator?" Willy laughed. "Well, the way I got my cane was slightly embarrassing."

"What happened?"

"Well," he said, "I was going to go and examine the gates because they'd been making a strange clicking sound, but when I stepped outside, I tripped and fell head-first down the stairs."

Charlie felt a pang of worry.

"I didn't get severely hurt, except for the destroyed ligament in my ankle...when it healed, I couldn't exactly walk the same again."

There was a small silence.

"Were you crying?"

"No," Willy chimed, "because when I was found by the Oompa-Loompas, I was laying face-down on the ground, unconscious."

"No," Charlie interrupted lightly. "I mean in the plane."

Willy sat up and looked at Charlie, frowning and slightly narrowing his eyes. "I didn't even cry when I was a baby." He stood up, looking pretty much insulted. "I didn't even cry when my older sister died."

When Willy grabbed the notebook and pen and disappeared inside the tent, Charlie sat up, the confusion plastered across his face.

"You had an older sister...?"


End file.
